You're not as HOT as you think you are!!

You wake up in the morning..... Get in the shower...... clean like you're going to the gyno...... shave everything possible...... exfoliate from head to toe........ you're gleaming!!!

You get out..... tweeze your brows to perfection...... brush, floss.... buff to a gorgeous shine!
Your hair comes out EVEN better than you intended...... your make up looks as though it was air brushed by an artist!!!

You look good, you smell good........... You're off for the day!

Errands to run.......

While standing in line at the Post Office, with two smokin' hot construction guys..... my lovely talkative Postal Clerk ... Pearl says to me....
"What's that on your shirt?"
"Where?" I reply
"On your boob!"

I look down to notice a huge white SPLAT from the top of my boob.... allllll the way down to my waist........ NO IDEA what it was.......

As if I wasn't humiliated enough....... As I was exiting...... I glanced down at the SPLAT and noticed that the fly to my EXTREMELY low rise jeans is wide open.......

Who's a pretty Britney girl!!!??

You're not as HOT as you think!!